I wrote you a letter...

.... only to conclude that I won’t be giving it to you. My heart poured out into a couple sheets of paper, that you will never receive. I without any hesitation drew flame to the past. I watched it burn centimetre by centimetre. The auburn glow grew and engulfed everything. Every untainted word in my memory inscribed unto flammable squares. The wind is going to blow it into the universe and from then on, it is going to vanish into dust. Just like our love.

By putting on a mask, I made myself into a complete bitch back then. Regretted but can't do jack shit now.
So let's pop the pills to numb it all out!!

It's already been a month and a half since it's officially over (or should I say it had been two weeks since we went back to square one as strangers), it just sucks because I’m still in the middle of getting over you. I still have feelings for you, but I’m slowly losing them. Because anything can bring those feelings back, when I hear a song that reminds me of you or see a picture. But there’s days where I feel nothing toward you, I think I’m finally over you, but I see something and realise those feelings never left. I hate this middle feeling. How long is it gonna take to get over this middle feeling?

Oh yeah, and on the point of this person (I'm getting numerous messages about him, I'm not going to (ever) leak out who he is/what's his name/where's he from etc etc [for those people who are unaware of this, if you read several of my posts recently, I kept on referring to someone as "you"], so please drop the persistent questioning in my inbox.... it's not that I aint a bitch enough to release his deets and talk about him behind his back, but I just see that there's no point of telling you guys because here is a public template and I'm pretty sure "that person" won't want his name drifting around... afterall.. we're now strangers.

Anyways..

You were just another lesson learned. You taught me what love felt like. You showed me how to hold on to it, but you also showed me how it felt to lose it. You showed me who I wanted in life, but then you also showed me who I wasn’t. You then drew a line, but you weren’t mine to begin with and not mine to end with. Looking right then and there, you were everything I wanted. Maybe because you were my first. Maybe because it was just thoughts. Then you were someone I didn’t like. You got inside my head and then you let me leave and wish I’d stay. Glancing back, I tried not to regret it and looked at it as an adventure.

Before I end, I have already settled myself to an agreement that this will be the last post ever on him. It is really the time I move on, physically and mentally. Hence, for my future posts, I will focus more on my daily personal life, and no more mentioning of him. He's now the past. 
Time to open a new chapter~

PS. I mostly update on my instagram - @veleneeee since I don't really have much time to blog here :) It's like my instagram now becomes my daily pic blog haha X) for eg. I wrote so much for a pic post just then.... link's HERE if you wanna check it out :) it briefly and vaguely described my week..

Love,
Velene