We are never ever getting back together.

I don't know what got me today.. I somehow had the courage to type out a message to him - literally telling him along the line that I don't feel the same way as he had for me (anymore)... which was true but I didn't feel that kind of vibe coming at me and that I had actually conveyed that meaning (directly) in just few lines... I haven't been this straightforward for such a long time...
But all this contributes to the experiences I have been through.... I've been hurt before. I've been a victim before when I was too nice. Me being victimized still haunt me when I sleep.
For one time, I ain't nice. Not to anyone anymore. And same to him.
Being nice just land me in a place full of trouble, heartache, deceit and lies.
I felt like it's the time that I really move forward and embrace whatever life has to offer right now.
To be honest, when he didn't reply to my message, I felt terrible, my mind was literally shouting at me, "Dude, what have you done? Your direct message must have hurt him and that shutted him up!" But the terrible-ness I felt was like a minute until it kicks in that why should I care.
If I had care, I wouldn't have said it right?

We drifted. I tried. You didn’t. I’m tired. Goodbye.

And somehow this quote reminded me:

“Sometimes you tell someone to never call you again, and then the phone rings and you hope it’s them. It’s the most twisted logic of all time.” - John Mayer

It's pretty much like the same logic, except this time is completely different.
I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore.
What I said was irreversible.
But I can do this.
I can pull this through.
And as one of my best friends said, all it takes is just to believe in yourself that there's a rainbow and light at the end of the tunnel.