Long distance relationships.

Don't know what got me tonight, but mind got me thinking about writing something regarding to LDR's, so here goes, a scope of what it's like to be in a long distance relationship.

You spend a whole lot of time alone. Not alone as in miserably lonely, but handling your day to day activities with the absence of your lover. there are times where you just wish that it was easier for them to be around you, to hold you when you’re cold, and having the luxury of falling asleep in their arms then waking up to see their blunt beauty in the morning. Trust becomes a huge factor in the success or failure of the relationship because all you really have is the unspoken promises of commitment and fidelity.
Before you decide to pursue a relationship with someone far away, there is a transparent contract that you sign, saying that you know the consequences and you fully accept what follows. When they can’t physically be there, you can’t blame them and say that they’re never around. Circumstances divide you two apart and it’s up to both of the individuals to work past that, not ignore it. You end up depending on technology to converse with your significant other. A simple text, phone call or webcam sessions start to mean so much more to you.
Then there are times where it becomes difficult because you want to hold them when they’re having a bad day, to show up at their front door steps and surprising them, or just going out on a lunch date from time to time. So you find alternative ways to show them how much you care. Any moment with them is sacred because it becomes something you to yearn for, so much that it aches. It’s most definitely not easy, but when you fall in love, everything is worth it. And every single time you look into their eyes, it’s like the first time all over again. You learn to be great on your own, but even better when they’re by your side. It’s where independence and dependency is in perfect harmony.

One of the scariest feeling is starting to fall in love with someone you've never met.

You begin to picture your future with them. How many kids you will have, where you will live, what your house will look like. But in that moment the fear subsides, because in that moment you are in love with them. It doesn't matter that you haven’t physically met. They are the best thing about your life. You don’t need the physical actions to know you are in love. You have a connection that is stronger than any other couple. You fell in love with each other’s personalities. It’s the best feeling in the world knowing that someone out there loves every little part of you.

I think you really know you love someone when you just want to do something you know will make them happy or make their lives easier. You don’t want a reward, you just want a smile on their face.

Last day of July.

It’s been awfully long since I've written something that I’m proud of. I haven’t been posting much if you haven’t noticed. It’s rare for me to actually write these days, simply because I don’t find a need to. I’ve finally reached that point where my words are shortened when there’s not much to complain or vent about. I think it would be safe to say that I have grown out that stage in my life where I was so used to my emotions overtaking me as a person and that I’m no longer a emotional individual who likes to depend on others to fill the hollowness I feel inside.

These days, after experiencing all the heartbreaking lessons I’ve been forced to learn, I’m numb to an extreme, I’m numb to my feelings, to the people around me and to my surroundings. I pushed people far away. I’m not exactly sure how I got like this or what made me a completely different person than who I was a year or two back but what I do know is I was once too caring, I cared too much only to receive broken promises in return. And quite frankly, I think the best way to not let your emotions get the best of you is to be carefree. Carefree as in letting yourself go — don’t mind the silent whispers others have said about you, don’t mind the perspectives of another when it comes to yourself and don’t be afraid to show who you really are, don’t fight against your feelings, let them out. Cry if you want to, scream if you want to but make sure to pick yourself up afterwards. Take a glance in the mirror to really discover your true self and what is hidden deep within the layers of your skin.

I say this because I know ten, twenty years from now I will reflect back on what kind of person I was at this very moment of time and laugh at myself for always being so over-caring. And it’s stupid, because is that really who I want to be? Twenty years into the future, nobody is going to remember what you wore on a certain day, what you have said in the past or how you were like today because nothing we wear, nothing we say, nothing we do will matter. Twenty years from now, nobody will care about you as much as they used to because they got their own life now. Twenty years from now, the people who once gave you so much to remember will only become a distanced memory, blurry in mind, painless in thought. Twenty years from now, what will be important is how you portray yourself. Either way, it’s never too early to get your priorities straightened out. Don’t mind the people or things that are causing you stress now. You’ll thank yourself later.

WHY HELLO DERE.. ;)

FINALLY had a catchup with Viv today! :)

Check out: HERE for more deets if youse interested!

I thought I should casually insert a mini confession here without being too vague? It was brought up today by Viv and it's actually a really interesting theory/question asked...

"Through endless attempts, it really does end up with a conclusion that you can't be forgotten. So I've made up my mind that you'll still remain in my heart, but the weight has changed. And forgetting someone doesn't mean to never think of him, but thinking of him with a calm heart. 
忘记一个人，并非不再想起，而是偶尔想起，心中却不再有波澜。"

On forgetting someone.. It’s pretty easy to believe that you’re fine for a while. Time passes and you heal and you start remembering what it’s like to not have to live with the guilt, the pressure and all the rest of the shit and you’re actually free. Then normal life steps in like a bitch and reminds you how great that person was and how comfortable that relationship had become and it feels like your life is falling apart. It’s like they died because of how abruptly their absence hits you. It sucks that you had been such a big part of my life for so long and I’m not going to sit here and pretend like everything about that relationship suck-ed, because the truth is, it was great when you wanted it to be.

A tip for youse all: Forgetting someone can’t be done when they've added a huge impact to your life. Never say forgive and forget, because it’s not as easy as it sounds. Forgetting someone takes a lot of phases. And come to think of it, I’m not even in the first phase yet.  It takes WILL and DETERMINATION. It works like any other thing in the world. If you’re determined to do it, you’d push through… but I've come to thinking and thought.... what if the reason why you can’t forget him/her is because deep inside you don’t really want to? Well that’s messed up. I’m fucking confused now. I guess the scariest thing about distance is that you don't know whether they'll miss you or forget you.

I can’t deny that I still love you and want you... but I’ll lie if I have to.

Love,
Velene xoxo

Confession: Long Distance Relationship aka LDR.

Sup everyone! There were some messages about ldr (like what do I think of it and some scenarios), I think I might as well do a post here, rather than answering similar answers over and over again to different people, ya I'm a lazybum like that heh.

Before I continue, I must say: What I'm gonna say next (pretty much all the posts I do), it’s just my opinion :) I'm not expert on this either. As I said numerous times, I’m just simply expressing my intake of what I think, so I don't want you to go and think "omg, (I'm) so right. I'm so going to listen. And blame (me) if things go wrong." Please don't.

Let's move on, shall we?

Contrary to what people say, distance is not for the fearful, it’s for the bold. It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It’s for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough.

I believe in long distance. I really do.

I believe that long distance relationships are the one’s worth fighting for if you genuinely like this individual. It’s also the toughest ones to go through. Who could have ever known that someone so far away can have such a huge impact on you. Some have met. Some have never met. Some started to develop feelings. Some fell in love. Some disappeared. What really interests me is how one fell in love, not because of their appearance or what their social status was, but through the endless conversations, talks, moments, the emotions etc etc. It amazes me how what the norm perceives expect to be impossible, can be possible. Because it can happen and it does.

However, it really does depends on what kind of a person you are, I guess. Because, in general, I'm that type of person who likes to talk everyday and see each other at least once a week or more, I'm a very touchy-feeling person (by that I mean I like to be able to hug, kiss, hold hands, etc). And I can't do that in a long distance relationship. And I guess that's why it didn't work out for me. Because I thought I could handle it at the start but then after a period of time, I just couldn't stand it. It wasn't even because of him either, it was just, too hard. All I could say, is that, things got accumulated and doubts finally kill it. And ya, I admit defeat.
So I guess by that, it's probably be even better for me, if I just skip a level down, and do a short distance relationship. LDR is definitely not for me. But it can be for you :) And I know some of you are in one now, good luck! And for those who are thinking to get a ld bf/gf, go for it, take a chance, take a leap, you never know what's gonna happen next!

Hopefully I answered decently XP

Catcha tomorrow people! :)

Love,
Velene xoxo