Sometimes you have to forgive someone without them admitting what they did wrong, because communicating what they did wrong only results in them hurting you worse by them being defensive, prideful, self-focused, self-righteous and fake. They tend to find a way to make it your fault and point attention to you when you try to talk to them about their actions. They often will make it seem like they have been attacked by you and try to tell you something they think you are doing wrong instead of listening to the fact they have hurt you and showing remorse for that, no matter what it is. They focus on clearing up that they may have been wrong. That kind of response makes it so hard to try to share what even hurt your feelings.
In the end, they won’t know because telling them always generates a response where they make everything about themselves. You can’t make them see the problem in their response and you can’t make them genuinely care about you. They may pretend or say they "care about you" just to seem like they tried to do the right thing or "be nice"; but in the end, all that matters is that they aren’t wrong. That kind of heart has the wrong priority and it’s very hard to get through to.
You can try, but if you are like me, it’s not worth the extra, repeated drama. It’s frustrating when they don’t get it on their own what they are doing and wouldn’t if you told them, but YOU have to realise you can’t make them and stop putting yourself through that.
Forgive it all.
But realise, also, it does not mean friendship.
That is not a workable relationship.
You don’t have to go through that any more times.
You can set them free, and yourself free.
Forgiving doesn’t mean that the person who hurt you has to still be in your life. Sometimes the person you forgive won’t know what they have done because you were unable to communicate it - not because there wasn’t opportunity but because the way they choose to respond is focused on them being right and it’s impossible to get through their defensiveness.
There is a point that any conflict always creates more conflict, so nothing gets resolved because the heart of what caused hurt remains unchanged. You can’t change a person’s heart or make them see, so it becomes unsolvable and the relationship is broken. That is sad, but for the better if you let go if the other person is insincere and you’ll be better off releasing everything and moving forward and away from it. Be free. Set yourself free from the negativity.
It’s not always your responsibility to make someone see where they have been wrong. You are loved. Remove yourself from the hurtful relationship and move on remembering how many other people are genuine, sincere, loving, humble, who will listen and be soft toward you because they dearly love you. Don’t waste your efforts on people you cannot change. Until their heart changes, their actions and mindset won’t and you’ll just remain in the same situation. Do the most loving thing you can and be free. You deserve to be safe and in good care.
You can move on.
Honestly, you are not the one losing anything.
They are.
PS. I haven’t opened up and written in awhile. I am glad I did.
In the end, they won’t know because telling them always generates a response where they make everything about themselves. You can’t make them see the problem in their response and you can’t make them genuinely care about you. They may pretend or say they "care about you" just to seem like they tried to do the right thing or "be nice"; but in the end, all that matters is that they aren’t wrong. That kind of heart has the wrong priority and it’s very hard to get through to.
You can try, but if you are like me, it’s not worth the extra, repeated drama. It’s frustrating when they don’t get it on their own what they are doing and wouldn’t if you told them, but YOU have to realise you can’t make them and stop putting yourself through that.
Forgive it all.
But realise, also, it does not mean friendship.
That is not a workable relationship.
You don’t have to go through that any more times.
You can set them free, and yourself free.
Forgiving doesn’t mean that the person who hurt you has to still be in your life. Sometimes the person you forgive won’t know what they have done because you were unable to communicate it - not because there wasn’t opportunity but because the way they choose to respond is focused on them being right and it’s impossible to get through their defensiveness.
There is a point that any conflict always creates more conflict, so nothing gets resolved because the heart of what caused hurt remains unchanged. You can’t change a person’s heart or make them see, so it becomes unsolvable and the relationship is broken. That is sad, but for the better if you let go if the other person is insincere and you’ll be better off releasing everything and moving forward and away from it. Be free. Set yourself free from the negativity.
It’s not always your responsibility to make someone see where they have been wrong. You are loved. Remove yourself from the hurtful relationship and move on remembering how many other people are genuine, sincere, loving, humble, who will listen and be soft toward you because they dearly love you. Don’t waste your efforts on people you cannot change. Until their heart changes, their actions and mindset won’t and you’ll just remain in the same situation. Do the most loving thing you can and be free. You deserve to be safe and in good care.
You can move on.
Honestly, you are not the one losing anything.
They are.
PS. I haven’t opened up and written in awhile. I am glad I did.
