Before I start my RANT, lemme tell ya something, so yesterday was da Halloween Day! :D YOP gathered together :)
Read what happened: HERE
Video of what we did: HERE
So moving to today's purpose of writing this post, or shall I say, a MEGA RANT.
ARGHHH. I just had this frustration to let it all out, and yes, that includes here, my blog X)
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WTF was I thinking?
You know one of these days. Where everything you’ve seen, heard, think, smell (well not exactly that dramatic lol!) just don’t sound/feel right, you know that feelings? I have been having these feelings for the past 2 days, and all I can say that it sucks. Balls. It’s like I really want to strangle it and shout, don’t you fucking dare come closer to me anymore, I hate you, fuck off, I don’t need you right now!!!!!!!!!! NEGATIVE VIBES AROUND ME….. what can I say? And I have all these people around me advsising/warning/telling me stuffs.... and all of a sudden.... I'm so fucking confused.
As much as I wanted to calm the fuck down, the back of my mind kept on telling me that so and so has happened, are you sure you want to continue like this? Yet. My heart on the other hand, is melting as the time ticks by, it’s like saying, “Give **** another chance” blahblahblah look how far you’ve gone through and all that crap. To be honest, I’m having these mixture of foreign feelings where I just don’t even know who I am anymore like why am I doing here, like I would have never thought it’s my turn now to deal with this kind of situation. THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS. THIS IS INSANE. THIS IS JUST MIND-WRECKING. This whole thing is taking over my mind, I should be studying and doing productive stuffs, yet I’m hiding inside my caves and complaining what should I do and stuffs. I really want to get this over and done with, but with it actually happening, the situation is getting uglier, it’s getting beyond my control, meaning at this point of stage, I’m in a seesaw looking left and right, yet I don’t have that courage to take another step to a point of direction, as to now, stuck in the middle. I HATE THIS FEELING. This is not me. This is not who I am. What have I become to? Yes, as far as you can see, this is another rant post. If you have been following my blog since the beginning, you know that I haven’t done a rant post in agessss! :P Cos my life was going pretty decently well….. until a couple of days ago, where it sidetracked me and totally threw me to a new strangers area, where I’m lost. I’M SO FUCKIN LOST.
I don’t even know what to say anymore to be honest. I’m typing all this down, thinking like last time when I finished ranting in a post, I would be calmed and stuffs afterwards, but this time is different. I don’t feel calmed. I’m more stressed. I’m more fucked up than before. I know,maybe some people say I’m over-dramatic/crazy/over-the-board and I’m being a clingy and pathetic bitch, but fuck off, you don’t know anything about me. ARGHHHHH. What am I writing. Ignore that please. But ya, if you have nothing nice to say, please keep it to yourself, it’ll be much appreciated.
I have lost my trail of thought. I was interrupted by that person of this ranting situation. ARGHHHH. It's like you don't even care at all... and what you said broke my heart T.T
Can things go back to normal between us? At the moment, I really don't even know anymore, I'm scared. For the first time in my life, I'm scared. I'm scared of so many things, and this has always been my least of problem, and now suddenly, just rose up and become the top of everything :O
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Going to end this post like this, I probs may not come back to this post and edit it if I get reminded of what should I write. Cos after all this is a rant post, a situation where I want to get over and done with and not reminded of it every second of the day where it practically take over my life.
Once again, reminding myself, “Just go with the flow”. Take a chance! Take a risk like what I did before! Be that girl who always yolo-ed and have that courageous personality! Where have that girl gone to? :P
Read what happened: HERE
Video of what we did: HERE
So moving to today's purpose of writing this post, or shall I say, a MEGA RANT.
ARGHHH. I just had this frustration to let it all out, and yes, that includes here, my blog X)
------------------------------
WTF was I thinking?
You know one of these days. Where everything you’ve seen, heard, think, smell (well not exactly that dramatic lol!) just don’t sound/feel right, you know that feelings? I have been having these feelings for the past 2 days, and all I can say that it sucks. Balls. It’s like I really want to strangle it and shout, don’t you fucking dare come closer to me anymore, I hate you, fuck off, I don’t need you right now!!!!!!!!!! NEGATIVE VIBES AROUND ME….. what can I say? And I have all these people around me advsising/warning/telling me stuffs.... and all of a sudden.... I'm so fucking confused.
As much as I wanted to calm the fuck down, the back of my mind kept on telling me that so and so has happened, are you sure you want to continue like this? Yet. My heart on the other hand, is melting as the time ticks by, it’s like saying, “Give **** another chance” blahblahblah look how far you’ve gone through and all that crap. To be honest, I’m having these mixture of foreign feelings where I just don’t even know who I am anymore like why am I doing here, like I would have never thought it’s my turn now to deal with this kind of situation. THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS. THIS IS INSANE. THIS IS JUST MIND-WRECKING. This whole thing is taking over my mind, I should be studying and doing productive stuffs, yet I’m hiding inside my caves and complaining what should I do and stuffs. I really want to get this over and done with, but with it actually happening, the situation is getting uglier, it’s getting beyond my control, meaning at this point of stage, I’m in a seesaw looking left and right, yet I don’t have that courage to take another step to a point of direction, as to now, stuck in the middle. I HATE THIS FEELING. This is not me. This is not who I am. What have I become to? Yes, as far as you can see, this is another rant post. If you have been following my blog since the beginning, you know that I haven’t done a rant post in agessss! :P Cos my life was going pretty decently well….. until a couple of days ago, where it sidetracked me and totally threw me to a new strangers area, where I’m lost. I’M SO FUCKIN LOST.
I don’t even know what to say anymore to be honest. I’m typing all this down, thinking like last time when I finished ranting in a post, I would be calmed and stuffs afterwards, but this time is different. I don’t feel calmed. I’m more stressed. I’m more fucked up than before. I know,
I have lost my trail of thought. I was interrupted by that person of this ranting situation. ARGHHHH. It's like you don't even care at all... and what you said broke my heart T.T
Can things go back to normal between us? At the moment, I really don't even know anymore, I'm scared. For the first time in my life, I'm scared. I'm scared of so many things, and this has always been my least of problem, and now suddenly, just rose up and become the top of everything :O
------------------
Going to end this post like this, I probs may not come back to this post and edit it if I get reminded of what should I write. Cos after all this is a rant post, a situation where I want to get over and done with and not reminded of it every second of the day where it practically take over my life.
Once again, reminding myself, “Just go with the flow”. Take a chance! Take a risk like what I did before! Be that girl who always yolo-ed and have that courageous personality! Where have that girl gone to? :P
Love,
Velene xoxo
