I get so annoyed when I constantly see corny paragraphs from a couple who never fail to post on each other’s walls every day and every night, just saying “I love you” and all those other lovey-dovey stuff. There’s those days where they post endless lovey-dovey things and there’s other days where they post “heartbroken” or “I don’t know how I’m feeling” statuses. I don’t think they know that the more they publicly tell everybody their relationship and what’s exactly happening in it, can potentially harm their relationship more.
Friday 31 October 2014
Saturday 25 October 2014
To those of you who has ever looked down on me, or thought I was a good for nothing, one day into the future I will be something. I will prove you wrong, I will accomplish many great things in life and one day, you’ll look at me and realise that you never really knew what I was capable of.
Ambition is all I really got right now, and it’s going to be a slow process to reach success but I’m determined to get there, no matter how long it takes.
Ambition is all I really got right now, and it’s going to be a slow process to reach success but I’m determined to get there, no matter how long it takes.
Wednesday 22 October 2014
I have mad respect for the ladies who aren't overly dependent on others. The ones who can still manage a smile after all the hardship they go through, the ones who look at the brighter side of every situation instead of letting small things bring them down, the ones who don’t mop around all depressed for a guy because she knows she has more important things to worry about. Ladies that not only knows what they want, but goes after it. That’s who I want to be.
Monday 20 October 2014
Confession.
Before I start, I must say, this is going to be a post that is very different compared to my other personal posts, what I'm gonna say soon is definitely not for the faint-hearted nor the light-hearted. So be warned! Click HERE if you want to leave :)
If you are reading this right now, and you know me personally (in real life), you may have a lot of questions to ask me after reading this post, your perspective/s of me may change, or simply, no questions at all.
Before you read on, I really want to say that this has been in my mind for a really long time, and somehow I felt like today is the day I wanted to share on my blog, regardless, of who read this, whether it be someone I know or someone who is just a passerby.
So hello to you :) I know for the fact that you are reading this right now, it's either you've been link to this blog, through my instagram post, or you've received an email that I've updated a post, or just a passerby.
As I said at the start, this is not a normal post, originally, I've written this in chinese, in which I only planned to just post on my chinese blog (and in my other chinese social media accounts), however, since I like to challenge myself, I also wrote in english, hence published on this blog.
If you understand chinese (and want to purely read in chinese and read straight to the point, without me being gibberish right now), click HERE to read. Though, please excuse any grammatical errors, as I'm not fluent at writing.
Or you can stay here, and scroll down to read both english and chinese translations that I've provided to the best of my ability.
Let's start, shall we? My life so far~
人的一生會遇到許許多多的過客, 遇到了就應該珍惜。 。 。或許你不知道的下一刻, 過客會成為你生命中最重要的一部分，，，所以我珍惜你們每一個。一直没有人懂我，我习惯假装坚强, 习惯了一个人面对所有。只是生活的压力让我善于遗忘, 把那些记忆通通遗忘。我以为遗忘可以让自己快乐起来, 可是, 我感觉到的却是更多的寂寞。
So far in life, there are so many passerby, that change is just a norm for me. On daily basis I feel like I have no friends that are there. Perhaps you may call them acquaintances but I feel as if I am fading and drifting away from those whom were once so close. But in the end, maybe, that is why I like to roam around alone. I feel so at ease with various of possibilities coming my way. I am bliss in solitude. Wondering down the street, passing by so many opportunities without a purpose and without company. I mean any stranger can walk on by and become that new person by my side. Maybe that is why my heart flows at a much easy pace when it comes to strangers. Perhaps that is why I fathom them more than anyone I may know. Since everyone I know has disappointed me, I know a stranger can behold a lot more secrecy and trust.
关于读书 "Studies" 和生命 "Life"
如果(你)本身認識我的話，你就會知道我的大學業是很糟糕的。糟糕到我變得不像自己了。我的情緒落到底。回到七月的時候，某一樣東西（我不想分享）讓我覺得我扛不住了，而死算是一種解脫。死了就沒有煩惱，不用再去擔憂了。那時候，對我來說作出自殺行動是衝動所致而不是理性思考後的結果。無法用理性來解釋。想死不是一個簡單的問題，有希望的人當然不會死，即使再困難，有希望的人也不會想到死。想死的人，是當時，當地，只有死才能解決一切。因為活著沒有用，沒有希望，活著不能解決任何問題，唯有一死。一切方可重新來過。就像打牌，發來的牌點數不好，不是每個人都會要求重新發牌的。想死就是要重新活。哪怕還有一點希望就不會想到死，認為我即使這樣活著一百年也沒有用，我想要的，想達到的，永遠不能得到。只有將希望寄託在來生。希望來生可以成為一個有用的人。很多人終問我，“人為什麼會去自殺呢？” 表面的說，這跟人生病一樣，是心理出現的重大疾病，不是自己能夠控制的。 是佛教救了我。教了我自杀是一个愚蠢的选择。而我现在还在学着怎么放开我自己，学着不要让我的情绪控制我和学会抗拒的自杀冲动。是佛給我勇氣走下去。
上天给了你这种生活, 因为它知道我强大到可以活下去。 所以我要勇敢的活下去, 證明那種批評我的人, 我可以完成我的夢想。
If you know me personally, you are most likely know/aware that my academic side of my life has been in downfall ever since I got into uni = shitty grades. To me, shitty grades are equivalent to shitty life. What do I mean? Well when I scored really shit, my family would rant the shit out of me. I don't blame them though, I was quite a high-end achiever back in highschool, not too high, but just decent enough to please my parents. Somehow, my academic luck has ended after WACE and I dropped down to the bottom of the pit. I struggled. And every time, when I thought I could do it, life comes running back to me and laughed, "You wish!" :(
Grades really affected me, they changed my life around, I became an emotional wreck. I was a mess. And you might be thinking now, "as if, this girl is seriously joking right now, her life looks too perfect/good etc", I am here to prove many of you wrong. My life is definitely not as simple as it looks. Yes, I probably looked like I am 100% happy all the time with no worries or whatsoever, but 80% is actually my mask. Even if I am really unhappy, I would never show it on my face. Why? Because I am one of those people who will do anything to put a smile on someone's face, just because I love to see someone happy. I love to see them smile, even when I'm not happy. Because I know I can't make myself happy, so why don't I just take this advantage to make someone else happy. I could never forget those times when I got pushed to the deepest corner, where I had no one to run to, and I had tried to take my own life too many times. Those were the days I never forget, for there are scars on my skin, to prove to myself that I have lived and survived up to now; to be honest, I am not proud of this but it's a reminder that I'm strong. I am such a hypocrite, as I was the one to encourage all to not take your own life, as life is precious. It was 3 months ago, in July that suicidal thoughts came running back to me, embracing my thoughts. July was really a mixed-emotions-month for me this year. It was my birthday month of course, I went to Melbourne being fully vibrant (despite being sick), but I broke down for the first time, on the last night of the trip. As expected, my grades came back to haunt me. Though I don't really want to elaborate the whole gist, it was a very important matter I had to attend but sadly, life didn't permit me to do so, hence I missed it and it created turbulence. I felt like I was suffocating so bad, it was like as if someone was intensely chocking me in an extremely slow pace. At that time, I was in the extremes of my emotions, all I could think of was suicide. It was like the perfect answer, because with death, comes no stress, no problems, no worries; and of course, my problems would be solved. I tried once, but failed. And that was the first time (no matter how hard I try), I couldn't put on a mask to reassure everyone I was alright. With no names being mentioned, I broke down in emotions and spill everything to this friend of mine, he said something along the line that things will only get better and with suicide, you’re only running away from your problems. That particular line stroke me. Because that's exactly what I wrote about last year (LINK). I clearly remembered at that moment, I couldn't respond properly, I just broke down in tears and mind you, this was at the airport.... not a pleasant scene at all... And I hate crying in front of people. I hate complaining about my problems. I hate it because people don't really care. You just look like you're asking for attention. It make me look like I'm weak and I hate that.
When I got back to home, it was hell facing my family. Everyone's being cranky towards me, it was still holidays, they banned me from going out. I was literally going crazy as they were so hostile towards me. And I had no one to run to and no one to confide to. I went crazy and insane which leads to depression and it went down track to have suicidal thoughts again. This led me to my second time to try to commit suicide. But, it failed. Fast forward to now. Friends from temple really played a major role, eventhough 99% didn't know the situation I was in, but it was them, who gave me reassurance, gave me this feeling of family, help and support; all as one. And because of this, the tie between me and Buddhism have grown closer. It is Buddha teachings and sutra that calmed me whenever I'm in stress. Eventhough this year hasn't ended yet, but, right now, at the moment, my grades have been going quite good, for Buddha has given me a new dose of courage to face all the problems :)
关于朋友 "Friends"
生活时常和我们开着玩笑, 你期待什么, 什么就会离你越远; 你执着谁, 就会被谁伤害得最深。
Hmm.. at the moment, in this aspect of my life, I am happy at the state as I am of right now. I really don't have much to rant on in particular, hence quite a short paragraph here... What I have learnt though from my experiences, is that it’s okay and normal to find yourself thinking about someone late at night and smiling or crying or feeling everything or nothing as thoughts of that person overwhelm you. It’s okay to wonder, even if that person might not be thinking about you (anymore).
关于工作 "Work"
雖然我只是有一個part-time的工作，但我學了很多東西。同事有來有往的，尤其是有些，過了一段時間，反而陌生同事變成了好朋友，我們彼此互相幫忙，互相教，就變的特別近的同事／朋友。 。但突然，或某一天， 他們離開了，的卻那時候，是很傷心，但我非常記得其中之一說，工作跟談戀愛很像，好好認識一份工作，跟好好認識一個人一樣，都需要時間。而沒有東西是永遠的，東西會變的。可能現在老天爺給了我們還年輕的時候，給彼此的機會認識在工作上面，但有些事就來耽誤了，而從這份工作，誰知道，有一天在未來，我們會再見面？因為我們還有很長的路來走，而且還會遇到很多過客。 。誰知道神秘的生活裡的奇蹟會帶給我們什麼呢？
其實在這個工作的方面呢，我是沒什麼要抱怨的，反而，我很幸運。很幸運我容易找到工作。很幸運我的家人支持我可以半讀半工。很幸運在我的經驗裡，遇到很多好的老闆， 很好相處的同事， 學會了很多和每一個經歷都有帶來給自己的好處。還有很幸運我的經歷讓我成為一個更成熟和獨立的人。
Although I am only working part time (being a student myself), I have learnt a lot from work. I've learnt that it's normal that people come and go, especially, over a period of time, friendships grew, from strangers to colleagues then to good friends. We help with each other, we teach each other and we share knowledge. And one day, due to some foreseen and unforeseen circumstances, people leave. At that time, of course, I was very sad, but I clearly remembered, an ex-colleague used to say to me, work is like life, nothing is forever and things can change. Life after all, has its twists and turns, perhaps, it gave us an opportunity to get to know each other at work when we're young, who knows, 10 years or 20 years later, we meet each other again, on a different path? To be honest though, in the work section of my life, I have nothing to complain about. All the experiences I had, I cherished. I am truly lucky. Lucky that I can find job easily. Lucky that my family support me working part time while managing my uni studies. Lucky that throughout my experiences so far, I met lots of amazing bosses, amazing colleagues, worked in really great atmospheres and most importantly, I learnt a lot. Learning is an ever-growing experience! And lastly, I am lucky that my experiences have made me the way I am today, a more mature and more independent person.
And that's it! I have splurge out everything I wanted to share, from the back of my mind. I have no regret/s and whatsoever that this highly personal post will be released out online, as after all, to blog is to share, right? And I just happen, is super comfortable to share these kinds of stuffs online.
If you have indeed read everything I wrote, give yourself a huge pat on the back :) I truly, from the bottom of my heart, thankYOU for being patient to read everything. I welcome any feedback and/or questions, in which I shall answer as best as possible.
If you just scrolled down from top to bottom, having so much writing in between that scared you *in which I really understand*, I still like to thankYOU for taking the time to at least pass by.
Want to keep in touch with me? Find me at:
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Till next time!
Love,
Velene xoxo
If you are reading this right now, and you know me personally (in real life), you may have a lot of questions to ask me after reading this post, your perspective/s of me may change, or simply, no questions at all.
Before you read on, I really want to say that this has been in my mind for a really long time, and somehow I felt like today is the day I wanted to share on my blog, regardless, of who read this, whether it be someone I know or someone who is just a passerby.
So hello to you :) I know for the fact that you are reading this right now, it's either you've been link to this blog, through my instagram post, or you've received an email that I've updated a post, or just a passerby.
As I said at the start, this is not a normal post, originally, I've written this in chinese, in which I only planned to just post on my chinese blog (and in my other chinese social media accounts), however, since I like to challenge myself, I also wrote in english, hence published on this blog.
If you understand chinese (and want to purely read in chinese and read straight to the point, without me being gibberish right now), click HERE to read. Though, please excuse any grammatical errors, as I'm not fluent at writing.
Or you can stay here, and scroll down to read both english and chinese translations that I've provided to the best of my ability.
Let's start, shall we? My life so far~
人的一生會遇到許許多多的過客, 遇到了就應該珍惜。 。 。或許你不知道的下一刻, 過客會成為你生命中最重要的一部分，，，所以我珍惜你們每一個。一直没有人懂我，我习惯假装坚强, 习惯了一个人面对所有。只是生活的压力让我善于遗忘, 把那些记忆通通遗忘。我以为遗忘可以让自己快乐起来, 可是, 我感觉到的却是更多的寂寞。
So far in life, there are so many passerby, that change is just a norm for me. On daily basis I feel like I have no friends that are there. Perhaps you may call them acquaintances but I feel as if I am fading and drifting away from those whom were once so close. But in the end, maybe, that is why I like to roam around alone. I feel so at ease with various of possibilities coming my way. I am bliss in solitude. Wondering down the street, passing by so many opportunities without a purpose and without company. I mean any stranger can walk on by and become that new person by my side. Maybe that is why my heart flows at a much easy pace when it comes to strangers. Perhaps that is why I fathom them more than anyone I may know. Since everyone I know has disappointed me, I know a stranger can behold a lot more secrecy and trust.
关于读书 "Studies" 和生命 "Life"
如果(你)本身認識我的話，你就會知道我的大學業是很糟糕的。糟糕到我變得不像自己了。我的情緒落到底。回到七月的時候，某一樣東西（我不想分享）讓我覺得我扛不住了，而死算是一種解脫。死了就沒有煩惱，不用再去擔憂了。那時候，對我來說作出自殺行動是衝動所致而不是理性思考後的結果。無法用理性來解釋。想死不是一個簡單的問題，有希望的人當然不會死，即使再困難，有希望的人也不會想到死。想死的人，是當時，當地，只有死才能解決一切。因為活著沒有用，沒有希望，活著不能解決任何問題，唯有一死。一切方可重新來過。就像打牌，發來的牌點數不好，不是每個人都會要求重新發牌的。想死就是要重新活。哪怕還有一點希望就不會想到死，認為我即使這樣活著一百年也沒有用，我想要的，想達到的，永遠不能得到。只有將希望寄託在來生。希望來生可以成為一個有用的人。很多人終問我，“人為什麼會去自殺呢？” 表面的說，這跟人生病一樣，是心理出現的重大疾病，不是自己能夠控制的。 是佛教救了我。教了我自杀是一个愚蠢的选择。而我现在还在学着怎么放开我自己，学着不要让我的情绪控制我和学会抗拒的自杀冲动。是佛給我勇氣走下去。
上天给了你这种生活, 因为它知道我强大到可以活下去。 所以我要勇敢的活下去, 證明那種批評我的人, 我可以完成我的夢想。
If you know me personally, you are most likely know/aware that my academic side of my life has been in downfall ever since I got into uni = shitty grades. To me, shitty grades are equivalent to shitty life. What do I mean? Well when I scored really shit, my family would rant the shit out of me. I don't blame them though, I was quite a high-end achiever back in highschool, not too high, but just decent enough to please my parents. Somehow, my academic luck has ended after WACE and I dropped down to the bottom of the pit. I struggled. And every time, when I thought I could do it, life comes running back to me and laughed, "You wish!" :(
Grades really affected me, they changed my life around, I became an emotional wreck. I was a mess. And you might be thinking now, "as if, this girl is seriously joking right now, her life looks too perfect/good etc", I am here to prove many of you wrong. My life is definitely not as simple as it looks. Yes, I probably looked like I am 100% happy all the time with no worries or whatsoever, but 80% is actually my mask. Even if I am really unhappy, I would never show it on my face. Why? Because I am one of those people who will do anything to put a smile on someone's face, just because I love to see someone happy. I love to see them smile, even when I'm not happy. Because I know I can't make myself happy, so why don't I just take this advantage to make someone else happy. I could never forget those times when I got pushed to the deepest corner, where I had no one to run to, and I had tried to take my own life too many times. Those were the days I never forget, for there are scars on my skin, to prove to myself that I have lived and survived up to now; to be honest, I am not proud of this but it's a reminder that I'm strong. I am such a hypocrite, as I was the one to encourage all to not take your own life, as life is precious. It was 3 months ago, in July that suicidal thoughts came running back to me, embracing my thoughts. July was really a mixed-emotions-month for me this year. It was my birthday month of course, I went to Melbourne being fully vibrant (despite being sick), but I broke down for the first time, on the last night of the trip. As expected, my grades came back to haunt me. Though I don't really want to elaborate the whole gist, it was a very important matter I had to attend but sadly, life didn't permit me to do so, hence I missed it and it created turbulence. I felt like I was suffocating so bad, it was like as if someone was intensely chocking me in an extremely slow pace. At that time, I was in the extremes of my emotions, all I could think of was suicide. It was like the perfect answer, because with death, comes no stress, no problems, no worries; and of course, my problems would be solved. I tried once, but failed. And that was the first time (no matter how hard I try), I couldn't put on a mask to reassure everyone I was alright. With no names being mentioned, I broke down in emotions and spill everything to this friend of mine, he said something along the line that things will only get better and with suicide, you’re only running away from your problems. That particular line stroke me. Because that's exactly what I wrote about last year (LINK). I clearly remembered at that moment, I couldn't respond properly, I just broke down in tears and mind you, this was at the airport.... not a pleasant scene at all... And I hate crying in front of people. I hate complaining about my problems. I hate it because people don't really care. You just look like you're asking for attention. It make me look like I'm weak and I hate that.
When I got back to home, it was hell facing my family. Everyone's being cranky towards me, it was still holidays, they banned me from going out. I was literally going crazy as they were so hostile towards me. And I had no one to run to and no one to confide to. I went crazy and insane which leads to depression and it went down track to have suicidal thoughts again. This led me to my second time to try to commit suicide. But, it failed. Fast forward to now. Friends from temple really played a major role, eventhough 99% didn't know the situation I was in, but it was them, who gave me reassurance, gave me this feeling of family, help and support; all as one. And because of this, the tie between me and Buddhism have grown closer. It is Buddha teachings and sutra that calmed me whenever I'm in stress. Eventhough this year hasn't ended yet, but, right now, at the moment, my grades have been going quite good, for Buddha has given me a new dose of courage to face all the problems :)
关于朋友 "Friends"
我相信朋友間本來就有緣份連繫著。是否會長久, 就是我們的選擇。我曾经相信 "好朋友" 是永远的。让我改变这个观念是我的生命中第一个很好的朋友。她的离开让我学会了好多东西。是她说要做一辈子的好朋友, 那时候我很天真, 我依然相信她。为了交到她那时候的男友, 她竟然丢下我, 而放弃这个友谊。我还记得那时候的我, 很伤心。。我那时候想, 如果(你)身为我的好朋友, 既然可以丢下我不管和装的不认识我, 我何必要相信 "好朋友是永远的好姐妹"。。她伤了我很深, 而那是候我也很小 (还不懂事), 居然是她改变我的想法。到现在, 我还无法让自己相信。虽然, (你们认识我)的会说, "不对啊, 你不是有2个很好的好朋友吗?" 的确是对的, 我很幸福。但其中之一呢, 我们特别的近, 或许应该我们彼此认识就一点 (11年了!!) 但最近呢, (就是说前几个月), 很多东西发生。渐渐的, 这些发生的事情, 让我回忆到我的第一个朋友的离开。当我发现了相似和共同点之处, 我怕了。我变的好陌生和变的好冷淡。这个改变很可怕。虽然, 这个朋友跟我说她不会, 但到现在, 我还有保持一个距离。。恐怕, 有一天她离开, 我还反而, 不会收到很大的攻击。
I've drifted away from so many people who used to be important to me. Surprising thing is I don’t care. I guess by now, I’m done with trying to maintain a one way friendships with people because real friends don’t have to see or talk to each other everyday, there’s just an invisible string that ties them together and I’m fine with having that one of a kind connection with just one person rather than have a bunch of so called “friends” that will be forgotten about within time. I used to believe in the term, "bff" aka "best friend forever". But my first ex-bff altered my view (forever). She ditched me for her then-bf. Since I was quite young then (haven't fully mature), it stroke me and left me a huge mark in my life. One particular friend I have grown closer in the past few years (not mentioning any name), if you know this is you I'm talking about (I hope you will at least now know why I was acting the way I was and why am I still acting distant now, though of course, I do not comprehend you to understand all this, but as long as you are aware, I'm all good). For those who don't know, in the past few months, so many things happened. (as you can see above of what I wrote) I realised the similarities and the things that happened were somewhat matchingly a repeat of the past. I got scared. I moved away. I became distant and cold. This feeling was terrible. Eventhough, it's the past, till now, I have been keeping my distance, for one day, if our friendship really did end up in dump, at least, I won't have to experience the pain again, for being too close.
关于感情 "Feelings"
真正的同伴能夠讓你重給勇氣，會讓你想起本來樂觀自信的自己，你會不再軟弱，甚至想反過來支持保護他們，卻使不在彼此身邊，你也不會覺得孤單。就是因為這樣，你之後才明白到，有些人卻使每天見面談話，交換過幾多笑臉，但說了再見後就真的不會再見。來日偶遇也佽一對陌生人，原來彼此多不過是對方人生里的過客。那些曾經對酒當歌，推心置腹的回憶，未能讓你們的情誼關係昇華，卻會在你孤單的時候，讓你覺得更加孤單。生活时常和我们开着玩笑, 你期待什么, 什么就会离你越远; 你执着谁, 就会被谁伤害得最深。
Hmm.. at the moment, in this aspect of my life, I am happy at the state as I am of right now. I really don't have much to rant on in particular, hence quite a short paragraph here... What I have learnt though from my experiences, is that it’s okay and normal to find yourself thinking about someone late at night and smiling or crying or feeling everything or nothing as thoughts of that person overwhelm you. It’s okay to wonder, even if that person might not be thinking about you (anymore).
关于工作 "Work"
雖然我只是有一個part-time的工作，但我學了很多東西。同事有來有往的，尤其是有些，過了一段時間，反而陌生同事變成了好朋友，我們彼此互相幫忙，互相教，就變的特別近的同事／朋友。 。但突然，或某一天， 他們離開了，的卻那時候，是很傷心，但我非常記得其中之一說，工作跟談戀愛很像，好好認識一份工作，跟好好認識一個人一樣，都需要時間。而沒有東西是永遠的，東西會變的。可能現在老天爺給了我們還年輕的時候，給彼此的機會認識在工作上面，但有些事就來耽誤了，而從這份工作，誰知道，有一天在未來，我們會再見面？因為我們還有很長的路來走，而且還會遇到很多過客。 。誰知道神秘的生活裡的奇蹟會帶給我們什麼呢？
其實在這個工作的方面呢，我是沒什麼要抱怨的，反而，我很幸運。很幸運我容易找到工作。很幸運我的家人支持我可以半讀半工。很幸運在我的經驗裡，遇到很多好的老闆， 很好相處的同事， 學會了很多和每一個經歷都有帶來給自己的好處。還有很幸運我的經歷讓我成為一個更成熟和獨立的人。
Although I am only working part time (being a student myself), I have learnt a lot from work. I've learnt that it's normal that people come and go, especially, over a period of time, friendships grew, from strangers to colleagues then to good friends. We help with each other, we teach each other and we share knowledge. And one day, due to some foreseen and unforeseen circumstances, people leave. At that time, of course, I was very sad, but I clearly remembered, an ex-colleague used to say to me, work is like life, nothing is forever and things can change. Life after all, has its twists and turns, perhaps, it gave us an opportunity to get to know each other at work when we're young, who knows, 10 years or 20 years later, we meet each other again, on a different path? To be honest though, in the work section of my life, I have nothing to complain about. All the experiences I had, I cherished. I am truly lucky. Lucky that I can find job easily. Lucky that my family support me working part time while managing my uni studies. Lucky that throughout my experiences so far, I met lots of amazing bosses, amazing colleagues, worked in really great atmospheres and most importantly, I learnt a lot. Learning is an ever-growing experience! And lastly, I am lucky that my experiences have made me the way I am today, a more mature and more independent person.
And that's it! I have splurge out everything I wanted to share, from the back of my mind. I have no regret/s and whatsoever that this highly personal post will be released out online, as after all, to blog is to share, right? And I just happen, is super comfortable to share these kinds of stuffs online.
If you have indeed read everything I wrote, give yourself a huge pat on the back :) I truly, from the bottom of my heart, thankYOU for being patient to read everything. I welcome any feedback and/or questions, in which I shall answer as best as possible.
If you just scrolled down from top to bottom, having so much writing in between that scared you *in which I really understand*, I still like to thankYOU for taking the time to at least pass by.
Want to keep in touch with me? Find me at:
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Till next time!
Love,
Velene xoxo
Friday 17 October 2014
I don’t say much about the way I feel. I’m hard to figure out. I’m too much to handle. I’m an over-thinker. I spend a lot of my time analysing about things that shouldn't concern me. I trust, believe, fall and hurt easy. I’m fragile and it doesn't take much to break me down. But the other thing is, I know how to pick myself up right where someone trips me, and I never fall in the same place twice.
Monday 13 October 2014
Awkward moment when I try to flirt with someone.
Other people: hey cutie, you're looking extra fine
Me: so... nice weather today huh
Me: so... nice weather today huh
Saturday 11 October 2014
Thursday 9 October 2014
Wednesday 8 October 2014
I wish I was able to eat as much as I want without having to worry about my weight. Or the amount of unhealthy shit I’m putting in my body. I just want to be in a world full of food and eat my way through the day without feeling sick or feeling bloated. I just want to eat. All day long. Hmmmm.
On another note, got my midsem test result back today... feel so relieved :') #hardworkdoespayoff and thankyou for all the good luck wishes I've received in my emails #blessed :)
On another note, got my midsem test result back today... feel so relieved :') #hardworkdoespayoff and thankyou for all the good luck wishes I've received in my emails #blessed :)
Sunday 5 October 2014
Had the most busiest study break. ever. Can't believe it's over soon and back to uni tomorrow waaah! D:
Brief jot down points of what happened:
- long weekend: Harmonise Camp
- Tuesday: outing at Royal Show
- Wednesday: outings. again.
- Thursday: outing and working *tired*
- Friday: shopping with mum *hot and tired*
- Saturday: working and friend's party
- Sunday: outing with family
And...... as expected... minimal study was done! :(
Can't believe in about a month time, exams will be here... holy shmoly... I ain't ready yet!
Oh ya, if you have been following my instagram, I have created another blog dedicated to reviewing products and food (eventhough it still is quite empty at the moment), here's the LINK if you don't know! Hopefully I can do more reviews for you all to read, despite my study load!
Ta for now! Catchaa all soon, my lovelies! :)
Love,
Velene xoxo
Brief jot down points of what happened:
- long weekend: Harmonise Camp
- Tuesday: outing at Royal Show
- Wednesday: outings. again.
- Thursday: outing and working *tired*
- Friday: shopping with mum *hot and tired*
- Saturday: working and friend's party
- Sunday: outing with family
And...... as expected... minimal study was done! :(
Can't believe in about a month time, exams will be here... holy shmoly... I ain't ready yet!
Oh ya, if you have been following my instagram, I have created another blog dedicated to reviewing products and food (eventhough it still is quite empty at the moment), here's the LINK if you don't know! Hopefully I can do more reviews for you all to read, despite my study load!
Ta for now! Catchaa all soon, my lovelies! :)
Love,
Velene xoxo
Saturday 4 October 2014
Friday 3 October 2014
I can’t stop thinking about you.
From the moment I wake up, till I fall asleep, you won’t get out of my head. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but it seems like I’m falling for you more and more as the day goes by and I have no control what so ever over it. I like this feeling, but it frightens me that one day, like everyone else, you’ll just be a memory, my past.
Wednesday 1 October 2014
Sometimes I feel like words are all I have.
Other times I feel like my thoughts are awake and nocturnal. Unlike all else, words are eternal. Once printed they can never be erased. Once spoken they can never be taken back. Words comfort me at two in the morning and as I'm awake, I realise how utterly alone I am. I think they are nocturnal. They make me tear-up, make me feel all vulnerable, make me think twice and change the way I view the world and everything within it. And writers, they’re dangerous because they are the masters of words. I can spend hours reading. Imagination and creativity are some of the elements in literature. Writers knead and mold the brains of children; the best writers can even do this with adults. Writers have this uncanny ability to delve into the deepest depths of the heart and extract poems we didn't even know existed. They can snowball the simplest of ideas into the most intricate fiction pieces. And for that reason, it’s not the dark we should fear, but the writer’s ability to turn on the light.
Right now, I feel like "change" has come back and starting to haunt me. With my thoughts changing. With my preference changing. With all these strings lying around for me yet to fix. With all these lil things to sort out. With founding out shits that I ain't suppose to know. With my changing perception of certain people that I'm close with. They are all changing. This frightened me, for I feel like I'm pushed to the corner of the corner, with no one to confide to and with everyone's moving and changing so fast, I'm scared that I wouldn't be able to catch up. And by the time I catch up, it'd be all too late...
Right now, I feel like "change" has come back and starting to haunt me. With my thoughts changing. With my preference changing. With all these strings lying around for me yet to fix. With all these lil things to sort out. With founding out shits that I ain't suppose to know. With my changing perception of certain people that I'm close with. They are all changing. This frightened me, for I feel like I'm pushed to the corner of the corner, with no one to confide to and with everyone's moving and changing so fast, I'm scared that I wouldn't be able to catch up. And by the time I catch up, it'd be all too late...
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