If only my heart were as cold as I pretend it is, maybe I could get over this.

I wanted to write something but I did not know what

I wanted to say something but I did not know what

I wanted to talk to someone but I did not know who

I wanted to listen to everyone’s advice but I did not know how

I wanted to go somewhere but I did not know where

I wanted to die but I did not know when

I wanted to hurt somebody and I knew who

Myself.

this hits hard

There’s a difference between being happy and being distracted from sadness.

Isn’t it weird how you can actually feel the pain in your chest and stomach when something really hurts your feelings

l-o-n-e-l-y

You ever have those nights that make you feel incredibly lonely despite knowing you have people who care about you? And for some reason you just want to lay in bed and not associate with anyone or do anything even though you know it’ll make yourself feel less that way.

Personal growth isn’t about becoming a different person, it’s about fundamentally changing how you interact with who you already are.

23.

Most important lesson I learned in the past year is, don’t let anyone turn you cruel.
No matter how badly you wanna give the world a taste of its own bitter medicine.
It’s never worth losing yourself over.

“no one can truly love you until you love yourself”

Can we all come together and agree that the saying “no one can truly love you until you love yourself” is trash.
Loving yourself takes time, and it isn’t always easy.
Know that there are people out there who love you, even when you struggle to.

balance.

In your 20’s find a balance between hustle and rest. You don’t need to have a love life or a soulmate figured out. Go travel the world. Battle your demons. Set up a business, find people who value your heart and yours will attract. Don’t live in the past, you have so much more to see.

count your blessings.

If you’re ever lucky enough to find and meet someone who loves you whole heartedly, don’t take advantage of that person’s kindness. Maybe you feel like it’s not enough for you, or maybe you feel like it’s not a big deal to you. But I guarantee you, you won’t ever meet another person who will love and care for you as much as that person does. And once you lose them, it’ll be too late.

be strong.

Sometimes you’re not gonna have support from anyone. Keep going anyway. You’re strong enough to make it.

Look:

The right people will get it.
The right people will see you and appreciate you for the person that you are.
The right people won’t require you to dilute, censor, or edit yourself in order to be worthy of their time and affection.

You don’t need to waste your time on people who are committed to misunderstanding you.

Self-care

- enjoy a long, hot shower after an exhausting day
- avoid or cut toxic people out of your life
- have a nice, lengthy nap to rejuvenate
- go on a sky watching or star gazing
- take a break and unplug on social media
- unfriend/mute toxic people on the internet
- go for a walk or a jog on the park
- reconnect with your good old friends
- take your dog/pet for a walk
- enjoy the sun for a couple of minutes
- do a random act of kindness
- have a quick movie marathon
- try to do something that you used to love
- listen to your favorite songs when you were a kid
- artist or not, try painting your feelings
- for a day, try de-cluttering your thoughts and stop overthinking
- go on a window shopping (even without buying anything)  

still care

I still care and I still wonder if you’re doing well and it’s so frustrating because it’s no longer my place to ask, or even to know. But I always wish you the best and I hope that you’re taking care of yourself. I hope you’ve found things that make you happy and I hope you’ve figured out your purpose in life.. I just hope that you’re happy. 

you either evolve or repeat old patterns.

surround yourself with people who make you want to do better. those who meet you halfway and teach you healthier ways to share space. it’s rare that you find good people, honor that occurrence. don’t let your ego sabotage these connections. you either evolve or repeat old patterns.

the real advice.

To be honest, the real advice I’d give to anyone is, do sh*t alone. Go to a museum and go at your own pace and leave the instant you’re done. Go somewhere you’ve never been and just wander around, duck into and out of places as it pleases you. Linger as long as you’d like.

keep going

It's kind of cool to think how someone somewhere is having the best day of their life today. Someone’s hearing “i love you” for the first time today.
Someone’s gonna meet the love of their life today.
Someone’s gonna get the job of their dreams today.

It’s someone’s best day today. And guess what bish? Tomorrow it could be your best day so keep going!

forgive yourself.

forgive yourself.

Whether you fail a test, eat too many cookies, say the wrong thing, fail a class, or spend a whole day in bed — learn to forgive yourself. The next day will be better. The next day will be a day closer to your next success. 

You can do it.

Friendly reminder.

Without failing at one thing, there won’t be an opportunity to try again, learn, and grow. Life isn’t static but dynamic. Learn to embrace whatever situation you may face and strive to overcome. Believe in yourself, knowing your best is yet to come.

Have you ever just wanted to leave. Run away. Run far far away. And start new somewhere else. Start fresh. Begin again. Purely because you’re fed up. You’re bored. You’ve exhausted your time where you are. And the possibility of being somewhere else alone, creating again it’s just the thing that seems to keep you from falling apart.

12:30am rant

can’t sleep so here’s my occasional half past midnight rant that’s currently occupying my mind

why throw away a relationship that was so good and pure and now it’s awkward to even text a hi? like do people not care about a friendship dying? hello and ya it can be my fault too but when I try to re-kindle it just doesn’t work out?? like do you not care about the memories we had?? sigh we both know so much about each other and now they just linger at the back of our minds like what do I do with them now and yes people change but we were once friends so what makes u think we can’t still be friends now

also I haven’t been on blog a lot recently lol all my posts have been queues so hi