Now that it is closer to the end of 2014, I've come to realise that things have changed quite tremendously. Both good and bad.

Highlights of '14 life in a nutshell:
- Travelled interstate for the first time with friends
- Learnt a meaningful resolution: Fail > Try Again > Fail > Try Again > Fail > Try Again > Success (Keep trying, because a successful person will never stop at a failure)
- Met some really good people: new friendships formed and old friendships rekindled and even more strongly bonded than before

I've concentrated on uni more (more like last semester) and did my very best, ending with positive and worthwhile results. I can definitely see the contrast between how I took on study. I've probably never cried so much but nevertheless, I've never felt so happy with the progress and results that 2014 has given me. I’m blessed to have everything I've gained and I hope that all the things and people that have stepped into my life STAY in my life. I hope that friendships that have been lost will gradually re-form and that more happiness comes around the corner when 2015 begins. Bring on 2015! :)

One Day.

When I finally have enough courage, I’m going to give a call to everyone who I've lost a connection with on my contact list.
I miss a lot of people who I used to talk to actually, I just never had the chance to tell them.

Have you ever meet someone for the first time and think they look just alright/decent?

Like they don’t look ugly but they’re not particularly attractive either. They’re only average. But then you start talking and getting to know them more and all of the sudden your whole perspective of them change. You notice the little things that make them amazing - the way they smile, the way they laugh, the way they talk about their passions. The way they carry themselves and treat others. Suddenly they’re not just average anymore, but rather endearing. I think that’s why personality is so important. You could be the most attractive person on earth, but without a good personality you’re just a pretty face with no substance. And who wants to talk to someone with no depth? 

Sometimes I just stare when I come on here. I have no inspiration. I have no emotions. I have no urge to write anymore. I honestly have no idea why I have stopped writing (regularly).

I tend to realise I write when I am sad, or when my emotions have collided to take me over. But recently, I have been pretty content and I am glad that I am actually okay with it. It feels good, although I am really eager to start writing (regularly) again.

Lol, life has been going pretty well. I am hoping it’d be like this for awhile, haha.

I’m such a safe and cautious person, especially when it comes to relationships. It's not that I don’t believe in love, but it’s definitely scary— the idea of becoming attached to someone and vulnerability in itself. None of my past relationships (well technically, only 2) have ended well and since then I've always associated “relationships” with a negative connotation. With everything being said, I still surprise myself from time to time. In this moment I feel like I’m taking a leap of faith despite my reluctant nature with investing in something I’m not even confident about. I have no expectations whatsoever and can only hope for the best. Even if things don’t work out, at least I can say I tried, right? I think that’s good enough for me.

I like it when guys try to figure me out.

I’m the type where I won’t tell you much about me unless, you ask. I have a tendency of being mysterious. I get a lot of curious questions, but I don’t answer quickly enough. It's cute when guys wonder. Personally, I think it’s attractive that they are putting effort to get to know me. Remember it’s the willingness that counts :)

I don't know whether I should accept someone now....

Because... next year my study load will be full on.... nor do I know whether I'm capable to handle both academic and love on my plate next year... such hard decision >.<

Moreover, my study has always been my first priority. But when someone I care about the most pops in the question, my mind becomes a pool of fuddly puddle.

There’s something about him that I can’t quite figure out, but that something is the something that’s making me stay. The uncertainty of us acts like a motivator. It pushes me to be with him. It makes me want to be with him. I don’t even know if we’d be good together, but the amazing thing about that is I want to find out. I want to know how it would feel to be a part of his world.

If I like you,

I like you. And only you. No, I will not get bored of you. No, I will not lie to you. No, I will not lose feelings for you. No, I will not hurt you like someone from the past did. No, I won’t leave you for someone else. I understand these things happened before, but that doesn't mean it’ll happen with me. If you spend most of our relationship being scared, it’ll end because you pushed me too far away. If things change, we’ll deal with it then, but until then, I’m all yours.

If he doesn't trust you with other guys, chances are its what he does when he’s with other girls.

You entered my dream the other night…

It all felt so real. I woke up, disappointed that it was just a figment of my imagination and disappointed in myself for actually missing you.

Another world.

I've always try. I try my best to be optimistic, but at the same time I tend to contradict my emotions. When I’m around people, I seem pretty stable. However, when I’m alone, there seems to be multiple collisions in my mind.

I know I always try. I smile when I’m around people. I help people out when they need me. I’ll cheer you up when you’re sad and I’ll protect you at your worst. I’ll smile at you while passing by you, even if I don’t know who you are. I seem happy but when I’m alone... it’s a whole different world, and my true colors begin to seep out.

By the way, I'm back at home :) Hence, more regular posts will be constructed along your way!

Love,
Velene xoxo