I am nothing but a broken soul.

I miss him. I really miss him. I thought I would be over him by now, but I can’t keep my mind off of him. Somehow he has my every thought. I love him, and probably will always.
I hurt him by lying to him. I feel so shit. But why oh why, through endless attempts, can't I force myself to believe that lie?
I thought I knew what love was, but once I lost him, I experienced something so different. I felt my heart break for the very first time of my life. It hurts. It hurts so fucking much. Why am I feeling this way? This is just the process/karma, right? Right?
I thought I can just forget him.. forget what we used to have, just simply forget everything about him.
But here I am, failing to move on because my thoughts of him are still continuously running around in my head telling me that he's no longer mine and we’re no longer us.

I just wish for the time being that I can escape this place call reality and just not feel.

“I like people too much or not at all.”

Alohaaaaa! If u have or haven't seen on what I posted my instagram earlier on, I got an ukulele! Yaaaaaaaaaaays! Time to jam some chords haha xD I'm sure learning this ukulele is gonna take me a while lol :P Self teaching ftw haha!~ Definitely will keep me busy :'D Busy is what I need to be in these remaining holidays. If you have any suggestion/s, feel free to drop them down below! :)
Just saying, this quote in chinese, "有些路, 选择了就没的回头..." really did strike me, cos it is so true in a way and is really relevant to me now.

Oh and also, my brah showed me this video, "move lah" on youtube and legitly, it's SO funny. I immediately cracked laughing at like the first 10 seconds of it. The chorus is even funnier, especially the hand gestures ROFL. Yes, he totally understand I need my double dose of laughter these days XP
Check it out below!

Ta for now!

Love,
Velene xoxo

I've drifted away from so many people who used to be important to me. Surprising thing is I don’t care. I guess by now, I’m done with trying to maintain a one way friendships with people because real friends don’t have to see or talk to each other everyday, there’s just an invisible string that ties them together and I’m fine with having that one of a kind connection with just one person rather than have a bunch of so called “friends” that will be forgotten about within time.

The hardest breakup isn't...

... when you dump someone because you don't want to be with them anymore, it is when you let them go eventhough you still love them and the only reason you're breaking up with them is because its plainly the right thing to do.. EVENTHOUGH you know that you won't be able to tell that person how much you love them ever again.
It sucks to be in this type of situation..
It sucks even more knowing I'm one of those people who are in the situation right now.

Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for; it is a thing to be achieved. 

On daily basis I feel like I have no friends that are there. (well except my lovely YOP) 
Perhaps you may call them acquaintances but I feel as if I am fading and drifting away from those whom were once so close. But in the end, maybe, that is why I like to roam around alone. I feel so at ease with various of possibilities coming my way. 
I am bliss in solitude. 
Wondering down the street, passing by so many opportunities without a purpose and without company. I mean any stranger can walk on by and become that new person by my side. Maybe that is why my heart flows at a much easy pace when it comes to strangers. Perhaps that is why I fathom them more than anyone I may know. Since everyone I know has disappointed me, I know a stranger can behold a lot more secrecy and trust.

Confession: Long Distance Relationship aka LDR.

Sup everyone! There were some messages about ldr (like what do I think of it and some scenarios), I think I might as well do a post here, rather than answering similar answers over and over again to different people, ya I'm a lazybum like that heh.

Before I continue, I must say: What I'm gonna say next (pretty much all the posts I do), it’s just my opinion :) I'm not expert on this either. As I said numerous times, I’m just simply expressing my intake of what I think, so I don't want you to go and think "omg, (I'm) so right. I'm so going to listen. And blame (me) if things go wrong." Please don't.

Let's move on, shall we?

Contrary to what people say, distance is not for the fearful, it’s for the bold. It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It’s for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough.

I believe in long distance. I really do.

I believe that long distance relationships are the one’s worth fighting for if you genuinely like this individual. It’s also the toughest ones to go through. Who could have ever known that someone so far away can have such a huge impact on you. Some have met. Some have never met. Some started to develop feelings. Some fell in love. Some disappeared. What really interests me is how one fell in love, not because of their appearance or what their social status was, but through the endless conversations, talks, moments, the emotions etc etc. It amazes me how what the norm perceives expect to be impossible, can be possible. Because it can happen and it does.

However, it really does depends on what kind of a person you are, I guess. Because, in general, I'm that type of person who likes to talk everyday and see each other at least once a week or more, I'm a very touchy-feeling person (by that I mean I like to be able to hug, kiss, hold hands, etc). And I can't do that in a long distance relationship. And I guess that's why it didn't work out for me. Because I thought I could handle it at the start but then after a period of time, I just couldn't stand it. It wasn't even because of him either, it was just, too hard. All I could say, is that, things got accumulated and doubts finally kill it. And ya, I admit defeat.
So I guess by that, it's probably be even better for me, if I just skip a level down, and do a short distance relationship. LDR is definitely not for me. But it can be for you :) And I know some of you are in one now, good luck! And for those who are thinking to get a ld bf/gf, go for it, take a chance, take a leap, you never know what's gonna happen next!

Hopefully I answered decently XP

Catcha tomorrow people! :)

Love,
Velene xoxo

“Don’t lower your expectations to meet your performance. Raise your level of performance to meet your expectations. Expect the best of yourself, and then do what is necessary to make it a reality.” - Ralph Marston

Confession of the day: You’re right.

I’m not the nice girl everyone thinks I am. I push people away. I push people that I care about and love so much away. Why? I want to know why also. I want to know why I always do that. Is it the fact that there was finally someone who cared about me and loved me? I’m always searching for answers as well. I guess I just wasn’t used to it. I wasn’t used to the fact that I was ready to put my guard down again. 
I push people away, I hurt them, and then I lose them.
I’m sorry.