Read this if you are sad:

A reminder for anyone that's feeling sad..

When you’re feeling sad and you think that it is not going away, or that you won’t ever feel happy again, don’t. Because I guarantee you that one day you will find happiness. You know why? I can guarantee it. Everyone does come across being genuine again, even if it is for a split second. Someday you’ll finally see yourself as your own friend. Those people who screwed you over, hurt you, or broke your heart, they won’t matter. Your mistakes won’t matter because you will move past that, learn from it and eventually accept it. You will understand that you can live without that person you thought you couldn’t. The people who you thought were your friends, they won’t matter anymore. You will have everything because it’s inside of you. Because one day they will recognise that they appreciate you just the way you appreciate yourself.

One day, you’re going to be ready. You’re going to open your eyes, and you’re going to be ready for the next days that are to come. You’re going to get up, go out, and you’re going to talk when you are ready. Go out with friends, do things that will distract you now, and try something new. When you’re ready, everything will be okay. Everything will be alright, because it’s okay not to be okay. And one day when you come to recognise this, you’ll remember reading this. You’re going to tell someone else who won’t believe you, and some day they will believe it like the way I always wish you did as well, and you have. Because now I believe it - seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, I’ve come to find the things I didn’t see in myself. And now, I’m blooming into something I’d never thought I was capable of doing and so will you.

Find the light to yourself. Try new things that you’ve never done before, and take risks. The excitement feelings that will be rushing through your spine will trigger new ideas and feelings that you have never felt before, and you will feel better. You’ll probably forgot about everything that has happened, even if it is just for a split second, and it’s going to be okay. Smile. Be positive. Surround yourself with light, positive and get rid of all the darkness aura that was around you.

Life is about finding yourself. Love yourself first because everything will be okay. 

Suicide.

When it comes down to suicide, I think each and every one of us has at least thought once about committing one, unless you live a goddamn easy lucky life then you probably won't have (just my opinion). Having suicidal thoughts are scary, and the chance of us actually committing it, is high. Most of us have thought about ending our lives, usually in the moment when we feel most depressed, alone, feeling useless, being unhappy, and so much more.

You know that feeling where it's like “Half of me is very happy, the other half of me thinks about ending my life.” Yeah, I get that. I admit that I've had suicidal thoughts before, but I looked past that and beyond that. We are worth so much and ending something so much more meaningful is never the option. Not only will we affect ourselves, but we will affect everyone around us with sorrow and sin.
So if you're ever feeling this way, I urge you to talk to someone.
Look beyond all the negative things. And get help because you have a long life ahead of you and I promise you, it’ll be worth it in the long run.

Midnight thoughts

I write because writing is my only escape. I need that escape, as my mind is submerged in a pool of darkness and I am too tired to swim. By tired, I mean sick. I am sick, broken, numb. I no longer get the taste for love, happiness and sadness. I wake up every morning struggling to get out of bed, I realise my passion is dying, becoming emotionless and hollow. I rise like a zombie in the night. For I am a creature of the bight. The demons that robbed me of my emotions thrive in the dark but not in the daylight where they can be seen. By seen I mean noticed. I float around hoping someone will notice that I need help. But no. I have sunk too far from any ability to speak my mind now. Each day I go deeper and deeper into my unhappy pool of darkness deeper into my mind….deeper into my skin. And just as I think it is getting better like I’m floating to the surface, I dive back in again only this time I go deeper. The blade drowns in my blood as it gushes out and now I’m lost. I’m lost, sick and tired. And I let myself drown. 

Possessed by Depression

I miss who I used to be. I miss her oh so dearly. She tries to come back now and then.. but the possession of this new girl is so deep in.

They suffocate one another. Constantly, endlessly, until one overrules the other.

Things I tell myself on repeat

Today is not your day to give up.

Sometimes I can’t help but to feel as if I’m of so little importance in this world and to the people in it. Like I could just disappear and nobody would even notice.

I tried. I really did. But I can't no more.

It hurts being able to love everything so deeply, because you pour yourself into everything and everyone, but at the end of the day you always find yourself alone and empty, because no one else is willing to pour their love into you.

Reassurance is the best.

When someone reminds you of how important you are to them, how they still care for and love you, it’s like so much weight has been lifted off of your shoulders. A big relief that they’re still there. Reassuring, it’s a good feeling.

Anxiety.

It is like I feel fine. Like I have had a good day then I start to over-analyse every single thing. Every conversation I have had. Everything I have said and done. Do people not like me because of stupid stuff. It’s uncontrollable. I feel like everyone hates me.