What if you wake up one morning and you’re in bed with the love of your life and they have their arm around you and they're snoring like a fcking ass hole, but you can’t help but to smile and you hear a baby crying and it finally hits you, you’ve made it.
You beat the demons inside you, the voices, the darkness.
I look forward to that, to knowing I made it.

There will come a time in your life when you will become infatuated with a single soul. For this person, you’d do anything and not think twice about it, but when asked why, you have no answer. You’ll try your whole life to understand how a single person can affect you as much as they do, but you’ll never find out. And no matter how badly you hate it or how badly it hurts, you’ll love this person without regret for the rest of your life.

I am so good at finding the worst in myself that I can’t even remember the last time I’ve ever said anything nice about myself. So if there’s anything I’d like to take the time to applaud myself for right now, it would be not letting my emotions overcome me and acquiring the discipline to not lash out and act solely upon my feelings when certain times call for it. Yeah, we’ve all been tempted to cry, yell, scream, put people on blast, or hell, even fight somebody in attempt to “put them in their place,” but after being put in so many rough situations last year, I’ve learned to think more rationally and realise that not every situation calls for a reaction. Sometimes you just gotta let people do what they do, think what they think, say what they say, and all that’s left to do on your part is shut your mouth and learn to hold your peace. Life goes on, and it is definitely way too short to let sadness or hatred consume you, so why waste time or feelings on things/people that don’t do anything but bring you down? Because if you do react, you only give satisfaction to the other party whilst hurting yourself in the end. This will be a constant reminder to myself.

I often wonder... how different my life would be if that one thing never happened....

One of the most amazing bonds you can have with someone is when you’re so close with them all you have to do is sit in a room with them and being satisfied by their presence is enough for both of you, you don’t have to do anything to impress them and neither do they, you just know you’re both happy to see each other.

My special talents include: jumping to the worst conclusion possible and worrying about that thing for hours.

For all the young girls out there :)

I think you just know when it’s just not right. As much as you hate to admit it because you just want for once a guy to actually like you and give you a chance, you know it just will not happen. And I think what the worst part of it is that you are left torturing yourself and wondering whether you’re gonna be single for the rest of your life. Seeing couples around wherever you go, it’s cruel. You question, “why can’t that happen for me?” And you sigh and wish they’d shut up when your friends start talking about their amazing love life. But the truth of it all is that you’re just jealous and desperate to be loved as much as you are willing to love him. You know it’s not good to be jealous, but you can’t help it. You’re only human and with your past, you are bound to feel that way. But the one and only thing you have to hold on to is that one day it will happen. It may not be today but someday. And you keep replaying this in your mind, reassuring yourself that things will be okay. You just feel like you’re on a roller coaster going round and round in a circle. Thoughts and emotions rushing round and you feel the lowest you’ve ever felt. But somehow, somewhere deep inside your heart, you have the strength to carry on, and hold tight to that hope of one day being truly happy and being with someone who makes you genuinely happy and who loves you exactly how you wanted to be loved all along.

When you’re young, everything seems to change so fast. One day you’re in love the next day you’re out. One small mistake can ruin a friendship forever. Money can change a person. How no one values virginity or purity of something anymore, and now they’re quick to lose it.

I realise now that love is hard to find, well rather it’s hard to keep. Since things are constantly changing, so are feelings. I realised who you’re dating now, or think could be the one, is possibly not the one. I just feel like “what was I thinking” I’m way too young to know someone is the one. How would I know someone is “the one” when I can’t even think of what I want to be. How could I be worrying about love when my life isn’t even where I want it to be.

I wish I was the person I used to be. I feel lost, like I lost myself chasing after something that was supposed to come naturally. I wish I was strong and careless like I used to be. Happy with myself. Now I’m just lost and unhappy. I wish I could be happy again.The happy that comes naturally.

Love how distant I’ve become to social media (compared to how I used to be, at least.) I remember back then I’d have the urge to post about unnecessary moments in my life such as petty little problems or just things that not everyone needed to know, as well as feeling the need to know what was going on in other people’s lives… but I don’t get that urge any more.

Seems to be some weird correlation with the amount of time spent on social networking and how happy I am with life. And as of currently, life is super good :) Love life’s good, family’s good, friends are good, work’s good, and for once, I feel like I’m living life for myself and not with the intention of having something to prove to others.

It would be great if I could migrate from social media completely, but that day probably won’t come for awhile.