Do you ever miss someone that was once everything to you? Someone you shared everything with. Promised to always love and cherish? Do you ever randomly think about them, like you’re just drinking coffee or out with friends and you read something or someone says something, anything and you’re drawn back to barely breathing and screaming because your body aches from the sheer fact that they’re gone and not coming back? And... You just don’t know how to handle it?

One word replies.

What the fck? When I write you a decent paragraph and when I am actually putting effort into keeping up a good entertaining conversation, I’d expect you do the same. Don’t you dare just "k" or "lol" or "haha" me bitch after I write you something that I want you to actually respond properly to. The moment when you give me a one-worded reply, I will immediately stop talking to you. It just means that you either don’t want to talk to me or you’re just boring as hell and have nothing good to say because you’re an old boring fart. Reply back with a sentence or better, something that I can reply back to. Jeeez.

I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt because I know I’d want them to do the same for me - but I’m also smart enough to know the difference between being open-minded and being plain naive. You can only believe in someone for so long before you realise they’re not at all what you thought they’d be, no matter how hard you wish otherwise. 
At that point, you just have to move on and forget about it.

You know, I sat there wondering if you missed me when I realised I gave you no reason to.

When it comes to people who have a marked spot in my life, their slightest action and words will be forever noticed by me, whether they know it or not. Yeah, I guess it’s safe to say that I’m an quite observer. I notice everything, but I just don’t say anything.

I worry less about certain things because I realised that it doesn’t matter and it never did. I don’t jump to conclusions because that only brings me down. I try not to think of the what if’s because all that matters is what's here. Right now. I used to come up with stupid reasons/excuses to get mad and I hated it. Now, if I catch myself getting mad about something, I think to myself, is it just in my head? And most of the time, it is, so I let it go.

The past few months have been refreshing. I see a different perspective on things, of people, and of myself. Things are new and different and I like it a lot. Not really sure where this post is going.. But I just hope that if you’re reading this… that you think about how things are in your life and what you can do to change it for the better. Sometimes, all it takes is the smallest change and it makes the BIGGEST difference. I just hope that this can help you think about it and hopefully feel a little more at ease with things. You deserve it.

I just wanna say that I’m so glad how things be working out for me like no matter how bad things go in life and how bad my depression breaks me down and feeling like dying, I manage to get to a point where I can be happy and not stress over things that don’t matter.

You know what turns me on? Effort. Assurance. Show me you care. That you really want me. I’m tired of doubting whether people are coming or going.

Sometimes I tend to think about my past a lot. I mean everyone does, right? You start thinking about what you’ve been through with your life. Reminiscing everything. Then you start to regret. Asking yourself all this questions. Why did I do this and that? Why him? Why her? After that, you get sad and depress. You end up crying because you miss those days back then. Unfortunately, you can’t do anything and you can’t go back. Because all there’s left is nothing but memories.

And... happy 1st of June everybody :) x