Would it have a different ending if I was brave at that time?

Thought of the day...

I don't give up easily.

BUT...... Should I give up in this xxx situation?.... for my own good?

To be honest, I never really listen to warnings but then again, I regretted afterwards cos I chose not to hear them out... now I'm given another warning, should I really follow it.... or should I ignore it? But then if I ignore it, the ending doesn't look that great either :O And if I follow it, it makes me the "bad guy".... oh man...

.... So confusing.

Hate to be stuck in between "give up" AND "don't give up"!

*SIGH*

Moreover....

"Have you ever had that feeling? That feeling where you don’t know what to do when you have two different thoughts mixed together. One part of you wants you to do it, but then the other part of you doesn’t. You don’t know what to choose. You need help, but you don’t know where to get the help because you know its only up to you. You’re the one choosing. That feeling sucks."

Toodles! ~

PS. Don't fret, this aint really a rant rant post! It's just that I felt like letting it out here on my blog :P

Sometimes I get this urge to talk to you, and then I remember that you're a different person now, it's just sad because I miss you, a lot. 

"You are sun of a beach."

hahahahhahahaha!
Did you guys get it?
Sahhhh hilarious! XDD
*still laughing* 
ROFL.

Ciaoooo! :)

Never change yourself just because someone has a problem with it．What makes you different，makes you unique．

You see what you believe.

Did a "miracle" just happened?

First of all, regarding to my last rant post, I'm really blessed to have you lovely followers supporting/comforting/giving me your opinions and you know just being there, really did console me. I read all the comments and I really appreciated you all dropping by and leave one :)

Had a really late night sleep.... I slept at like around 2:30am -.- yet I woke up really early this morning, went for a jog, thinking to myself, you know there's more to this world than what I was complaining about, I should be blessed and grateful that at least there are some things going the right way/the way I want them to be, I guess. And for the things that do not work out, I should not get all hyped about it and I should just accept it and let it flow. After jog, there was a thai temple nearby and they had a meditation sesh, so I was like why not, let's do it. After all, I need my yin and yang to be adjusted back to normal. I had too much dark forces in me that need to released out. LOL.... I totally sounded like I'm in Star Wars or something haha.... This coming week is the last week of uni fml.... so I really need to be back to my normal self and exams coming very soon as well and I need to be very prepared! My feelings and state of mind actually became more stable and relaxed after that deep meditating session :) Thought through heaps as well...

To be honest, I'm more calmed now. I'm more relaxed. Once again, reminding myself that this is just life. There's ups and downs. You don't know what is gonna happen next, just enjoy every moment of now :) especially, I should be really grateful that I'm still alive, and not off the hook and go kill myself :3 LIVE LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW.

And youse know how I was stuck in a seesaw, not having the courage to take another step, you know what guys? That courage is back. I'm more reluctant to take another shot now :) Yay! I'm really glad to tell you all... that girl is gradually coming back on the track :)

PS. I know I labelled this post as a rant, eventhough it's not a rant at all. But I didn't know what to label it and it's also a response to the post, so eh, group em together :)

Love,
Velene xoxo

Sometimes you gotta fall before you fly.

Before I start my RANT, lemme tell ya something, so yesterday was da Halloween Day! :D YOP gathered together :)

Read what happened: HERE

Video of what we did: HERE

So moving to today's purpose of writing this post, or shall I say, a MEGA RANT.

ARGHHH. I just had this frustration to let it all out, and yes, that includes here, my blog X)

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WTF was I thinking?

You know one of these days. Where everything you’ve seen, heard, think, smell (well not exactly that dramatic lol!) just don’t sound/feel right, you know that feelings? I have been having these feelings for the past 2 days, and all I can say that it sucks. Balls. It’s like I really want to strangle it and shout, don’t you fucking dare come closer to me anymore, I hate you, fuck off, I don’t need you right now!!!!!!!!!! NEGATIVE VIBES AROUND ME….. what can I say? And I have all these people around me advsising/warning/telling me stuffs.... and all of a sudden.... I'm so fucking confused.
As much as I wanted to calm the fuck down, the back of my mind kept on telling me that so and so has happened, are you sure you want to continue like this? Yet. My heart on the other hand, is melting as the time ticks by, it’s like saying, “Give **** another chance” blahblahblah look how far you’ve gone through and all that crap. To be honest, I’m having these mixture of foreign feelings where I just don’t even know who I am anymore like why am I doing here, like I would have never thought it’s my turn now to deal with this kind of situation. THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS. THIS IS INSANE. THIS IS JUST MIND-WRECKING. This whole thing is taking over my mind, I should be studying and doing productive stuffs, yet I’m hiding inside my caves and complaining what should  I do and stuffs. I really want to get this over and done with, but with it actually happening, the situation is getting uglier, it’s getting beyond my control, meaning at this point of stage, I’m in a seesaw looking left and right, yet I don’t have that courage to take another step to a point of direction, as to now, stuck in the middle. I HATE THIS FEELING. This is not me. This is not who I am. What have I become to? Yes, as far as you can see, this is another rant post. If you have been following my blog since the beginning, you know that I haven’t done a rant post in agessss! :P Cos my life was going pretty decently well….. until a couple of days ago, where it sidetracked me and totally threw me to a new strangers area, where I’m lost. I’M SO FUCKIN LOST.

I don’t even know what to say anymore to be honest. I’m typing all this down, thinking like last time when I finished ranting in a post, I would be calmed and stuffs afterwards, but this time is different. I don’t feel calmed. I’m more stressed. I’m more fucked up than before. I know, maybe some people say I’m over-dramatic/crazy/over-the-board and I’m being a clingy and pathetic bitch, but fuck off, you don’t know anything about me. ARGHHHHH. What am I writing. Ignore that please. But ya, if you have nothing nice to say, please keep it to yourself, it’ll be much appreciated.

I have lost my trail of thought. I was interrupted by that person of this ranting situation. ARGHHHH. It's like you don't even care at all... and what you said broke my heart T.T

Can things go back to normal between us? At the moment, I really don't even know anymore, I'm scared. For the first time in my life, I'm scared. I'm scared of so many things, and this has always been my least of problem, and now suddenly, just rose up and become the top of everything :O

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Going to end this post like this, I probs may not come back to this post and edit it if I get reminded of what should I write. Cos after all this is a rant post, a situation where I want to get over and done with and not reminded of it every second of the day where it practically take over my life.

Once again, reminding myself, “Just go with the flow”. Take a chance! Take a risk like what I did before! Be that girl who always yolo-ed and have that courageous personality! Where have that girl gone to? :P

Love,

Velene xoxo