Isn't it weird and funny:

• People who you don’t know, read your blog = awesome.
• People you do know who read your blog = terrifying.

I always grieve when I hit the ‘one of those nights’ phase.

You know, that heavy feeling you get, but you just have no idea why. You want to say something, anything, but nothing’s coming out. No matter how hard you try to find the right words. When you’re lying in bed, so tired, but just can’t sleep. So you just have to lie there, and wait for the tears to come out. 

Mr. Nice

I hope one day, I’ll meet a mannered, polite and civilized guy who can be funny. I find it pathetic how our generation is being overloaded with guys who can only talk about sex, ass and boobs. I’m surrounded by guys who only look for girls with a nice ass and boobs. I’d like to meet a guy who can like a girl for them and not for what they look like and look past the ass and tits and see what’s inside. Because let’s face it, I’m not the prettiest girl out there. Someone who can be a gentleman; open doors for me, pays for lunch, and knows how to be the perfect guy. Okay, I'll admit it sometimes guys who have a little bad ass in them can be cute. But if keeping their reputation is their priority.. then I’m pretty sure, y'all would think it would get out of hand. you know what I’m saying? Hmm anyways, it’s just annoying how we’re stuck in this era when sex is all guys think of.

Yesterday I realised what I really needed. I needed you. Lying to myself and making up excuses in my head why we couldn’t be, were the reasons why I wanted to be. I hadn’t cried this long in a long time. I felt as if you shot the bullet that killed me not even feeling my heart beat as it skipped a beat. 

I like people who are straight up. The ones who aren't afraid to voice their opinion, or blunt enough to tell you the truth, even if it will hurt your feelings. It’s definitely a plus to your personality in my book if you’re straight up. I don’t care so much for people who beat around the bush all the time, I’m more of a straight forward and just get to the point type of person.

It’s crazy how one minute you are making all these plans and promises with someone and then the next minute they are out of your life. All it takes is one moment, one word, or one misunderstanding to create a ridiculously large amount of doubts and pain. It’s easy to forget a person, but the words, the feelings, and the anticipations that you two have once built stays forever. It digs holes into your heart, and it simply hurts.

I’ve become a silent person once again.

Enclosing myself away in the shadows that slowly creep up to cover me. When did I become so quiet? When will I learn how to speak out my thoughts physically and mentally? The type of person to shut themselves from everything around them, only to hear nothing but silence and darkness devouring me.

Being too quick to judge will only have you miss out on the right people. Too quick to judge as in when you assumes the worst scenarios when you hear or see something in which you imagine to be unpleasant, and without even giving the person involved a chance to explain the truth, that person is automatically sentenced to death by you, it’s as if the person is dying for a crime they never committed. I don’t know, I just think there are so much things left unsaid and unheard, because so many of us pass up the opportunity of listening to the untold.

FIVE stages of a relationship.

I. The "meet" － when you first meet someone you’re interested in, probably attracted by their outside appearances. Your curiosity kicks in and you have this urge of getting to know them more, on a personal level.

II. The "talk" － you guys start talking, you get to know each other better and slowly, you guys begin to develop feelings. Then you become a part of each other’s daily routine, and your day feels incomplete when you don’t talk to him/her.

III. The "honeymoon" stage － when your relationship gets to a point where you can’t go through the whole day without thinking about your significant other. You get butterflies by the mention of their name, your smile like a idiot while checking their texts, your friends ask you “so who’s this new girl/guy?” because they notice how much happier you have been. After a while, they become the source of your happiness and you try to make time out of your day just so you guys can talk. You both begin to lose a large amount of sleep but it doesn't seem to matter, you guys are satisfied as long as you guys are giving each other company.

IV. Relationship downhill － when you guys are constantly fighting about nothing. You feel as if he/she doesn't care and you try to stop yourself from caring too much. You refuse to be the first to hit them up, yet you check your non-stop hoping for a text/call from them, but always end up in disappointment. You do whatever it takes to keep your mind off of them and try to keep yourself busy, yet you still find yourself wondering if they ever think of you, because all you do is think about them.

V. Strangers, again － when no effort is coming from any of you guys. You feel completely broken, you blame the other person for everything and eventually, both of you stop trying. You finally find the courage to erase them from your life, you tell yourself “I will move on” and hope for everything to get better.

And... in the end, you guys end up as strangers, again.