I often wonder... how different my life would be if that one thing never happened....

One of the most amazing bonds you can have with someone is when you’re so close with them all you have to do is sit in a room with them and being satisfied by their presence is enough for both of you, you don’t have to do anything to impress them and neither do they, you just know you’re both happy to see each other.

My special talents include: jumping to the worst conclusion possible and worrying about that thing for hours.

For all the young girls out there :)

I think you just know when it’s just not right. As much as you hate to admit it because you just want for once a guy to actually like you and give you a chance, you know it just will not happen. And I think what the worst part of it is that you are left torturing yourself and wondering whether you’re gonna be single for the rest of your life. Seeing couples around wherever you go, it’s cruel. You question, “why can’t that happen for me?” And you sigh and wish they’d shut up when your friends start talking about their amazing love life. But the truth of it all is that you’re just jealous and desperate to be loved as much as you are willing to love him. You know it’s not good to be jealous, but you can’t help it. You’re only human and with your past, you are bound to feel that way. But the one and only thing you have to hold on to is that one day it will happen. It may not be today but someday. And you keep replaying this in your mind, reassuring yourself that things will be okay. You just feel like you’re on a roller coaster going round and round in a circle. Thoughts and emotions rushing round and you feel the lowest you’ve ever felt. But somehow, somewhere deep inside your heart, you have the strength to carry on, and hold tight to that hope of one day being truly happy and being with someone who makes you genuinely happy and who loves you exactly how you wanted to be loved all along.

When you’re young, everything seems to change so fast. One day you’re in love the next day you’re out. One small mistake can ruin a friendship forever. Money can change a person. How no one values virginity or purity of something anymore, and now they’re quick to lose it.

I realise now that love is hard to find, well rather it’s hard to keep. Since things are constantly changing, so are feelings. I realised who you’re dating now, or think could be the one, is possibly not the one. I just feel like “what was I thinking” I’m way too young to know someone is the one. How would I know someone is “the one” when I can’t even think of what I want to be. How could I be worrying about love when my life isn’t even where I want it to be.

I wish I was the person I used to be. I feel lost, like I lost myself chasing after something that was supposed to come naturally. I wish I was strong and careless like I used to be. Happy with myself. Now I’m just lost and unhappy. I wish I could be happy again.The happy that comes naturally.

Love how distant I’ve become to social media (compared to how I used to be, at least.) I remember back then I’d have the urge to post about unnecessary moments in my life such as petty little problems or just things that not everyone needed to know, as well as feeling the need to know what was going on in other people’s lives… but I don’t get that urge any more.

Seems to be some weird correlation with the amount of time spent on social networking and how happy I am with life. And as of currently, life is super good :) Love life’s good, family’s good, friends are good, work’s good, and for once, I feel like I’m living life for myself and not with the intention of having something to prove to others.

It would be great if I could migrate from social media completely, but that day probably won’t come for awhile.

To be civil with someone you don’t like is one thing, but to pretend to like them and be buddy buddy with them when you’re talking sh*t behind their back just doesn’t make any sense to me………..

Like why go through all that trouble??

The older I get the more I realise

• Friendship is not something that is common. Genuine friendship is rare.
• Everybody wants something and never ask themselves what they bring to the table
• The energy you give the world is the energy you receive
• Time alone is not a bad thing
• Love is a gift and is not something you can demand or force
• Being comfortable should be your main priority.

Some days are harder for me than others but I’m trying. Some days I can find the happiness, some days I feel like I’m forcing it. I can’t tell anymore. Some days I tell myself I’ll be ok. Some days I tell myself what a horrible person I am. Some days I cry and some days I can’t. There are too many days but I’m trying. I’m trying my best but some days it’s not enough.